The Push

As a parent of three, there is always a sense of having to push.  Parents out there will understand:  pushing to clean up your room, to get along with your siblings, to remember to brush your teeth on your own.  I am always very aware of the push, and very wary of pushing "because I said so" (you know, they way your parents did).

We are a skiing family, however, consensus on that definition varies among the family members.  We come up to the local ski hill every weekend, we don our skis and head out.  The kids are signed into lessons, despite their pre-season negotiations not to.  As parents, we have decided that it is about quality family time--skiing during the day, board games, movies, etc. at night--and developing some life long recreational skills.  We have a number of great families that meet up here every weekend.  The dads ski together while the kids are at lessons, the moms hike, snowshoe and sometimes ski with us.  Evenings are full of pot luck dinners, kids sleepovers and visits.  We tell the kids that this is important and fun.  Sometimes, we tell them so much that it seems kike we are trying to convince ourselves.

And, you know what?

It's working.

The kids are really starting get it.  I mean they really seem to dig it.  All three are turning into great skiers (snowboarder, my middle one would correct).  All three are developing a healthy--and measured--sense of responsibility, accountability and, gulp, independence.  They are learning to make some really good decisions around friends, around finding something positive to do, and about making some of their own "fun" arrangements.  Most importantly, they seem to be appreciating the trust we have given them to make these choices.

And then there is the skiing.

As a parent, there is nothing more satisfying, more moving, than helping your children find something that they really like and then watching them do it.  I am not talking about earning spots on all star teams, about competing at the highest levels, rather about participating in something that they love doing because they love doing it.  I am starting to see that and it's pretty cool.  Watching a 10-year-old snowboarder follow me down through a mogul run without problem, dart in and out of the trees and shoot out hitting a perfect 360, only to continue down the slope is awesome.  So is watching a 4-year-old, fearless, telling me that the runs don't seem steep anymore.  And so is cruising through powder halfway up your shins, and hearing the swish of your 12-year-old's skis as she follows right behind your back ski tips.

So, have we created this passion for our kids?  Is it something that they wouldn't get into without us?  Probably, but that's our job.  That's the push we give them to try new things, to get up off the couch and be active, the break from the electronic world of their generation.  And that push goes far beyond activities.  It goes towards friendships, work habits at school and community service.  And it works in reverse;  they push me.  Not in a push back way (although the first teenager will be upon us soon), but in the "look at life way".  It's hard not to join in on the fun when a child invites you.  It's hard not to have fun when you watch them having fun.  And, it's hard to be too serious, that ever-debilitating adult quality, when someone unjaded by the rat race world of jobs, responsibilities and taxes does something because "it sounds like fun".

So, in my case, the push for me is to watch the kids and to try and remember how to be one.