As I wade through the pile of FSAs, DPA surveys, requests for performances at school, teacher evaluations, calls to return, funding requests, requests for funding, new students files and documents to be reviewed before adding into student files on my desk, it’s easy to feel up to my eyeballs in “stuff”. I even have a lamentated picture of an alligator on my door that I can flip over for just such emergencies. But, I digress...
It’s funny because as I sit here, cringing at a pile that is s l o w l y disappearing, feeling a bit empty and—I’ll say it—a little unfulfilled that my day hasn’t just jumped up and bit me the way I see a strong cup of Joe perk my wife into attention each morning. And as I sit here, wondering if that is what is supposed to happen, I find myself smirking—in a reflective way—that the answers I am looking for aren’t just staring at me in the face, but they left my own mouth earlier today in a heart-to-heart with one of my students.
“You are in charge of the kind of day that you will have”.
It kind of echoes in my head.
“When you find yourself stuck in a rut, feeling negative and lost, you have the skills and ability to pull yourself up and make a difference for yourself. I believe in you.”
I believe in me, too.
“You can be an agent of change for yourself”
That’s it! I know what to do.
“Put on your big boy pants, and get on with what is important...”
No, wait...that was Lisa’s voice. Sorry.
I guess I have to take my own advice. Now, I am not upset like my student, but I am starting to get into a rut today. You know, the kind that you make with your boot in the snow when you drag the toe back and forth as you pretend to be giving your full attention to the person debriefing you about their day in a way that just doesn’t seem aware enough about how you feel about how much you want to get skiing. It’s just a little rut, and a swipe of the heel or a dusting of new powder will wash it all away. The problem is not just the day dreaming, the wanting to do something else, to be in another moment. The problem is that if you don’t perk yourself up, that if you don’t act as an agent of change for yourself, that this line in the snow will become a rut.
And, ruts become trip hazards.
The beauty of today is that I have 258 reasons to connect with. 258 eager little minds, all wanting to share something amazing from their day. 258 relationships that need stoking.
258 agents of change.
The connection to kids part of the job is, well, the most important part of the job. Actually, it is the job. Period. Everything that we build here rests on the relationships that we have kindled, stoked and refuelled. Everything. The learning, our safety, our needs, our culture. Everything.
So, I am out. I am pushing aside this pile of "stuff" and heading to a some classrooms for some visits. I will try to slide in and see what teachers are teaching and what students are learning. I will see who is contributing to a great day, and who needs a little pick-me-up. If it's anything like yesterday, I will hear about loose teeth, gingerbread men (and gingerbread cowboys), a mouse in a house, yesterday’s playdates and the excitement about the upcoming weekend. I will have a laugh and try to share some laughs, and then when I come back to my office this afternoon, I will flip through that pile of “stuff” like it was nothing.
And I will go home feeling full.
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