Leading With Lollipops

I saw this video for the first time last year, and it was someone else who showed it to me (thanks Norm).  I took it back to school and showed it to my staff, because it was perfect.  I wanted to let them know how much I appreciated the hard work that they were doing every day, that they were making a huge difference in the lives of kids every day, and that I understood how few thank yous were sent back in return.  I also wanted to let them know that--sometimes--the most meaningful moments for some people are, well, missed by others.  I always expected that when my big thank you came, I would be not only be ready for it, but expecting it.  I was wrong.  My life-changing thank you came about because of an incredible tragedy. 

I was working in another district as a Vice-Principal, and was attending a celebration of life at the school for a former student who was tradically murdered.  At the service, another student came running up to me, exclaiming that he was hoping that I would be there and that we could catch up.  He told me that he was a commercial airline pilot, that things were good and stable for him, and that--gulp--I had saved his life.  Wow, saved his life.  That statement still hits me like a tonne of bricks.  He said that he was at a point of not caring about school or life and wasn't trying hard, and that I pulled him aside and had a really hard conversation about what it was that he wanted to do with his life and about doing things in a way that allowed people to see the real him and not just the facade that he was hiding behind.  I gave him the gut check to decide how he was going to be remembered, and then gave him a chance to make up all missed work and get caught up but only if he was going to give a real effort and stop playing games.  He said that conversation and the following weekend gave him the pause to see his life clearly, and he made a choice to follow his heart--that person hiding inside his chest--and walk away from the life of gangs, drugs and violence that had enveloped his older brother.  So you see, when he told me that I saved his life...he meant it.  The problem for me was that I didn't remember the conversation.  Sure, after some reflection I put myself back into that Geology 12 classroom, sitting down beside him and talking to him about wasting his talent.  Sure, I could remember the late afternoons setting up and explaining rock labs and sending him home to complete the write ups.  But, it didn't play back like a movie, and it wasn't glamourous.  And, it wasn't me who did any of that work, it was him.  I just pointed him in the right direction, and promised to be there to help should he choose the right path.  Maybe that is a lot, and maybe I was foolish to expect anything more.  I was so proud if him that day, and I still am.  I also know that there will be a time in his life where he will use that experience to help someone else make a big difference.  How amazing is that?

So my challenge this weekend is for everyone to dig deep and find that person who made a difference for them.  Chances are it will be a teacher, but it could be anyone.  Then, find a way to track that person down, and hand them a lollipop or some other reasonable or symbolic facsimilie, and thank them for making a difference in your life. 

It might be the most important thing you do all year, and it might make a far bigger difference than you could ever imagine.